Monday, March 10, 2008

A Life that is all Sunshine and Lollipops

It's been a fun ride these past few weeks. Some have said we have put out our 'dirty laundry' for all the world to see. I don't see my innocent children that way and it gets the hair on the back of my neck very bristled. Those we thought closest to us have either ignored, supported or want nothing more to do with us. The last part hurts the most.

But, Robin and I will continue on as we had decided before all this attention that we set in motion. Now we know who our true friends and family are. We do have a BUNCH more new friends that we are very grateful for.

We've had the positive and the negative and we prefer the positive. We want to be healthy and not full of negative cancerous tumors. So, from now our life will be "A Life that is all Sunshine and Lollipops", whenever we come across negative people and comments we will delete, trash and ignore.

We are doing this mainly for our children and the better life we hope to provide for them. If we can be an example for others... thanks for the complement! If we can achieve our 3 step mission regarding Autism, it'll be that much better.

Dad

P.S. BTW, Mom's not been well lately and I've been working hard to clear up my 2 months of bronchitis and get back to the working world. So, we apologize for not posting as often as we would like to.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

God Bless the Parents Who Drugged Us

A friend sent me this story that I just had to pass on:

"The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question.

'Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?'

I replied, I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.

I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.

I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity.

I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flowerbeds and cocklebur's out of dad's fields.

I was drug to the homes of family, friends and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.

Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place."

She didn't say who the author was, but they sure hit this right on.

Dad

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Our David Archuleta and American Idol Connection

If any of you watch American Idol like we do, you've probably noticed the great voice of David Archuleta. At our home he is our choice for going all the way.

Our connection?

David and his family live just about 3 blocks from our house. Bobby, our 14 yr old, is in the same Boy Scout troop as David's younger brother. You've probably noticed that on America Idol they say David is from Murray, Utah. If you've seen our People magazine article is says we live in Murray, Utah (a suburb on Salt Lake City).

We've seen their family at Boy Scout functions and church as well. In fact, Robin, about a year and a half ago heard him perform a hymn at a church event. She said he had the voice of an angel and was pretty much swooning in the pew. Afterwards she approached the then 15 year old David and told him he is an INCREDIBLE singer and has one of the most beautiful voices she has ever heard. He then smiled his now well known sweet, boyish and slightly shy smile.

She said she's an aspiring screen writer and she would love to have him sing in her movies and would he be interested. He expressed some interest, so he gave her an email address to keep in touch. When she heard that he was going to be on Amercian Idol, she was very exited. She's watching the show now just to hear David, and watch him win it ALL. She still hasn't used David's email, and probably won't use it more than once now--just to wish him well. She says she probably won't be able to afford him now that he's already a super star. Have you noticed how the girls go CRAZY when that boy hits the stage?! Wow, this kid's amazing. Don't forget to vote for our boy David Archuleta!

What's next for us? Another busy week. On Monday. we have a film crew from Inside Edition coming. Then. our documentary film crew is here from Thursday to Saturday. Filming will not be complete until May. Our hour long story on Discovery Health will premiere in October of this year.

Dad

Thursday, February 21, 2008

AutismBites T-shirts, T-shirts and MORE T-shirts

Every since our magazine article came out in People, and the interview on Good Morning America, our AutismBites t-shirts have been going like hotcakes! We have had at least one person buy a t-shirt in every state except Wyoming, North Dakota and Mississippi.

The following states have 10 or more people that liked our AutismBites t-shirts sooooo much they bought some: WA, CA (50!!), UT, TX, IL, IN, FL, OH and MA. We also have 21 friends in Canada and 5 in Australia. That goes with the two from Ireland we've had before.

We'd also like to recognize those who have bought 5 or more t-shirts: L Wallace, N Boston, A Chapman, L Damiani, D Gedik (12+), A Burns, D Katkus, M Johnson, S Graham, J Connelly (25+), K Zera, D Shortliffe, C Slisher and D Grewal. J Connelly, would you please email us at autism_bites@yahoo.com and tell us what you are doing with all those t-shirts? Thanks! Also, to anyone who has bought an AutismBites t-shirt, please tell us your story, any experiences with the shirts and why you like them.

Here are some of the most popular choices people have purchased:


(NOTE: These designs are trademarked and copyrighted)

Thanks to everyone! If some of you are wondering where Mom is and why she has not blogged recently, well... She is diligently trying to answer the email we've been getting. We've received A LOT.

Dad

Monday, February 18, 2008

The Ghost and Miss Mary

A ghost and his helper came to our home yesterday....










The Ghost (AKA Ammon the Destroyer) is seen here climbing over the dutch door of his room. Ammon and his companion, Mary, found the baby powder. They had a bit of fun... See here:


They are sooooo fast, I was out of the room for no more then 3 minutes. When it was very quiet, I thought I had better check on them. Little stinkers... Well actually, they smelled pretty good, like a little baby's clean and fresh little bum bum!

Dad

Saturday, February 9, 2008

AutismBites Foundation and the Needs of Families

Thanks again for all of the great comments that we've received the past few days!

Reading through our emails, the comments here and the poll to the right that is still on going, it is obvious that there is a VERY large need out there for parents of Autistic children. Autistic parents, see it and KNOW it on a daily basis. But, for Autistic parents to finance ourselves with foundations to help... well that's a bit tough.

Autistic parents are already paying for their own children by getting a second mortgage or going into debt. Sadly, many are not able to do much for their children because Autistic parents don't have the money and the various ASSISTANCE PROGRAMS are not enough. Autistic parents of course have the compassion and understanding of all the challenges that Autism brings, we live it every day.

We need to find people of means (money) that can catch the vision of how financially devastating it is for Autistic parents... And to donate generously to the AutismBites Foundation. That is one of the primary reasons we've felt as a couple that we need to tell our story. We thought that the usual situation of ours would get the attention of the media. Its been pretty good so far, but we do hope for the attention to grow larger and larger.

And its not ALL about us, really!

More attention on Autism hopefully will bring the funding that is so very lacking in many different ways. If Autistic parents can get a full 8 hours of ABA for their children every day. If parents had the financing for diets, intervention and treatments. If Autistic parents had the funds to make their homes safe for their children. IF...IF...IF... then maybe, just maybe... some serious progress can be made.

My goals for my children? Have them get to the point where they can be completely independent and provide for themselves when they reach adult age. We cannot live forever to take care of them.

We didn't ask for this. If our children were six "normal" children we would take care of their needs just fine. The stresses, needs and obligations that I have had to handle as the Dad, has lost me a number of jobs and the provided insurance. I'd imagine that other fathers have faced similar challenges. Tell me if I'm wrong here. Has other Moms been depressed and wonder if they can make it through the day?

So... if Autistic parents could get the support and understanding of their neighborhoods, schools, communities, state and national governments and leaders, friends, the rich and famous AND even their families. It wouldn't be so hard! Most of these children would improve. For those detractors with their calculators in hand, it will cost pennies now OR dollars later. Which would you prefer?

Dad

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Good Morning America, Autism, Mormons and Just Plain Mean People

We knew that putting ourselves out there for the world to see today would have its good and bad points. That's OK, we're tough, we DO have SIX Autistic children we deal with EVERY day. We can handle 'just plain mean people' that have no idea as to what they are talking about and feel they must offer us advice.

When you've gone though the heart-wrenching discoveries, over two years, of finding out that one by one each child has some level of Autism. Then trying to find out what exactly Autism is. Is there someone... anyone that we can turn to, who has some answers. Trying to keep a job when you have to help you wife who has fibromyalgia and NEEDS at least two naps a day, then getting calls from school that your kids are having yet another meltdown in class. Then start to get some help from the state only to have one of those workers report a conversation. Those comments of frustration get your children removed from your home by the state. Doing EVERYTHING the judge says to get the children back. Two weeks without your children feeling like 2 years. Coming to realize that the state being involved in your life will actually get services and much quicker then usual. Then after 11 months to finally be free from the judicial system and feel human again.

Walk in our shoes for a week and most of you would have either lost your mind, be getting a divorce or maybe worse. We have 3 main reasons to get the word out about our family.

1) increase the awareness and understanding of Autism.

2) from our example (we know we're not perfect) that it can give hope to other parents struggling with their marriage and children.

3) jump start our efforts to create our AutismBites Foundation. The goal is to help put funds directly into parents hands for whatever, without a lot of red tape and hoops to jump through.

There have been many assumptions about who and what we are that have been posted in the comments of the GMA website, I'd like to address some of those. Some are just plain ignorant and stupid, I'll skip those considering the source.

"After the first few clearly had delays, wouldn't one assume the best decision for the family would be to stop reproducing?" "Six! What were they thinking?" "You've had 3 children with developmental problems and yet you KEEP HAVING BABIES. BRILLANT!"

--- ALL the children were born BEFORE we found out about the Autism. Besides that we prayed to know how many children to have. Until Mary, number six, our answer was we were not a complete family. GOD knew that these special children needed parents that would care for them. We were the ones he's trusted, not to people like these who would have aborted or abandoned them. They are our blessings from GOD.

"I don't feel sorry for the parents, I feel sorry for the children whose parents are idiots. Gambling on having normal children happens every day. Making more when you know what will happen is nothing more than Munchosen (its spelled Munchausen, spell checkers work wonders!) syndrome...I hope these parents get neutered." --- OK, that was mean. Uh, let's see... what can I say? I hope you get a lobotomy, soon!

"My argument is that yes this family has a problem that they don't care if they burden the world with their self inflicted problem." --- We DO care, see the 3 reasons above.

"PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT AGE YOUR KIDS WERE WHEN YOU STARTED NOTICING SIGNS OF AUTISM IN EACH CHILD." --- Bobby (8th grade)-halfway through 5th grade the teacher called us in for a conference, suspected mild Aspergers, his diagnoses-Oct 2006. Emma (9) and Nephi (8)-kindergarten and 1st grade, just really rambunctious, their diagnoses-Oct 2006. Sarah (6) pre-school teachers felt she was Autistic at 3 1/2, diagnoses-Nov 2006. Ammon (4) after sister Sarah's pre-school teacher's observations we were concerned as he acted a lot like Sarah, got an appointment, diagnoses-May 2006. Mary (3) thought she was the only one that didn't have it, PDD-NOS diagnoses-Dec 2006.

"Even professional educators didn't didn't catch the oldest child's autism until he was 11 years old. If there was a family that was prone to childhood diabetes and they didn't realize it until their oldest was 11, you wouldn't be exhibiting your stupidity by blaming the parents who are working at a tougher job than you'll ever face with more compassion and intelligence than you'll ever have. The morons here are the ones who can't get past their own prejudiced opinions." --- Very well said!!

"The earth's population is a big factor in today's environmental crisis. These are ignorant, irresponsible adults who have created a problem for themselves and all of us." --- What a bunch of liberal crapola, where is all the compassion for the underprivileged you spew.

"Early intervention is key for an autistic child to meet their full potential. Many can live independently as adults if they receive treatment. We as a society will pay one way or another. I would rather pay through tax dollars for early intervention therapies and treatments so they have a chance to grow up and live independently, instead of long-term adult living care also paid by tax dollars." --- Another, VERY well said!

"Don't let them be "typecast" into total isolation in schools" --- Sarah goes to an Autism school in the morning and regular kindergarten in the afternoons. We'll mainstream them as much as possible as long as they are getting an education they need and not just supervision.

"I can tell you that it was a big reason for why I am not as judgemental and more accepting of those not as perfect as some of apparently think you are, especially about something of which you know nothing." --- Ditto!

"my first question is what were the parents eating, their diets? are they loaded with hydrogenated oils, processe(d) foods? are they living near a toxic dump?" --- We grew up in the suburbs of Minneapolis, MN, going to the state fair and having cheese curds and things on a stick.

"I'm sorry but I don't see anywhere in the article that the family is wanting you to feel sorry for them. They said they are blessed. Which means they are happy. So quit with all the judgemental comments. It's just displaying what a pathetic, mean and jealous people you are." --- Call this one another DITTO!

"I think they should both be sterilized." --- After number six Robin's tubes were tied. This was still BEFORE we knew any had Autism.

"If they were a normal family, outside of Utah, they would only have one or two autistic children." "... they're from Utah. They had to keep having children to please the mormon church." "Raise your hand if you knew they were Utah mormons by the second sentence of the article. They had to keep having children to please their church."
--- John is from California, Robin is from Minnesota. The first 4 children were born in Minnesota (blows that prejudice theory out of the water), the last two were born in Utah (a great place to raise a family, you guys stay out). MANY, MANY 'mormon' families have a couple of kids, they are not 'in trouble' and feel the 'displeasure' from our church. We are encouraged, but not commanded to have children. It is for each couple to seek their Heaven Father's guidance as to what their family is to be. We did and six was what we have, the Autism challenge came later.

Well, I could go on and on but this gets across our main points. Someone else said we are seeking help, donations, look at us, poor me, blah, blah, blah (so nice to have my own blog and say what I want!). When the People magazine article came out people emailed us asking how to send something. My sister-in-law/webmaster suggested that we put up a 'PayPal' donation box. There is a choice for either our family or the AutismBites Foundation we are starting. One thing I had hoped they would not put on the editing floor was when I said, "We're not begging for help here or seeking money. If we can be some portion of inspiration to other Autistic parents, great.

If you don't like our t-shirts that help deal with the public, fine don't buy one. Don't like our website (still a work in progress) or us, go away.

Life is choices, choose to like us and come back to this blog and participate with us in our journey on this earth. If you are mean spirited and your life stinks and you want others to feel as miserable as you... don't come back. Bother someone else. Life is too short to stress over things you cannot change or disagree with.

But, to you who have discovered our family and take encouragement or hope from our experiences... come back often. Comment often and let us see if we can all make this world a better place.

Dad

Thanks for your comments and support: parkersmommy007, lilspos2, loveeq2u, JoeliMcC, clbwebb, moose809, KRHSCN, floweringangel, michaelr02, ChristineCade, charity23us, eowyn_of_ithilien, Debra S, nancyroop, mapicepla, HappyTeacher05, Lanie Rae, lindalaytonsmith, HazelEyesLookinAtYou, bobandmoni, kada22105, WebNewsReader, momofautisticchildren23, sassymama1973, if I missed you we love you too!