Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Some Days Its All Just Too Much

The last few days I been reading lots of Autism blogs, Autism Yahoo Groups, YouTube Autism stories and various books. I love my children so much and want to help them with diet or intervention or education or one of a million things it seems.

Today was a day that it was just too much.

Mom gets tired a lot and needs naps. Just trying to stay caught up with cleaning or washing wears her out. I understand. She was able to get breaks with 5 of the 6 attending various schooling...but now its summer and no breaks. When I get home from work I give her a break as much as I'm able. Made dinner, got the children to help clean up afterwards, watched a couple of educational cartoons with them, said evening prayers and got them off bed.

I get tired too, but many times I feel that I have to read just one more blog, website or book to learn more. To do a better job of being Dad. If I didn't have my magnetic rings I'd be completely wiped out. I wish for a job where I can be involved with Autism. Autism IS my life and I feel I need to learn and help and... SOMETHING more.

Today was a day that it was just too much.

I didn't feel like blogging today, but I think that if I don't have something new to say that people will stop coming by. And stop buying our Autism Bites t-shirts. We don't make much but we need all we can get.

Getting too pitiful here?

We've been getting advice on various treatments or diets. It would be great and I'm sure some of the suggested things will help. BUT, I see NO WAY to pay for it all. Special diets cost more then a regular one. Try that with a family of eight.

Boy, do I need a hit of Mom's Zoloft. Sorry to be such a downer today. Today was a day that it was just too much.



Sean said...

I know exactly how you feel. I used to be like you with the researching thing. Right now I have just put that aside and focused on my wife and daughter. You do what you can and leave all other things to God.

Sean said...

Oh and like autism being different in different kiddos, there is not one specific treatment that will work for all kiddos.

irene said...

*sigh* I can completely understand and I only have ONE with autism. I finally quit reading all the autism books b/c it just made me feel like there are so many answers, things to do that would help but for us, they are un-attainable due to finances or proximity. We do what we can, pray all the time and keep hope for a bright future. You are all in my thoughts and prayers!

Carol said...

There's always more work, more research, more planning, more cleaning, more, more, more to be done. It's easy to forget that all the kids really need is love, the rest can wait. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you and yours :)

TR said...

I read a lot of your blog today. I am new to blogging, but experienced dealing with despair and seemingly impossibile situations. There are two things that can keep us from falling apart: empathy and self-awareness. Unfortunately, living in some situations makes feeling empathetic and finding time for mindfulness rather difficult. TR Roosevelt, a weak and sickly child who many thought would not amount to anything, once said "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." I have repeated those words to myself many times, and felt less judgemental, less need to complain, and more confident. Sometimes accepting that we have done all we can do, is all we can do. With autistic kids, it can seem like the needs go on forever, so it might be important to acknowledge what you are doing right now. I wish you and your family all the best.

Shanie said...

First of all, a happy father's day to you (and belated mother's day to your wife). While I would like to wish you a day relaxing by the BBQ, I am sure such luxuries like relaxing are not possible. I read your article after finding a link in an ABOARD newsletter, and have been following your blog ever since. I teach children (currently 7), aged 13-17 on the severe end of the spectrum. I agree with TR, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." Each child is so unique, what works with one rarely works with another child the same way. That is why you find so many answers, there is no one answer. You, and all parents of children with autism have my utmost respect. I do everything I can for my guys 6.5 hours a day, and I am physically and emotionally exaughsted at the end (occasionally a bit bruised as well). From all I have read you guys are doing an incredible job. The answers will come when you are not looking for them. All my best to your family in this journey.

Sean said...

Shanie I want to thank you for choosing to be a teacher of our special kids. You are a saint. I can understand you going home exhausted. Teachers of our kiddos are awesome to do what they do. You may not hear it enough from the parents of your kiddos, but they appreciate it. Keep up the good work.

Ginger said...

Dear Super Dad,

Happy Father's Day to the sixth power!

(props to the Super Mom as well)


Cubscoutmom said...

I know those days..We've had them, but times 6?!? Oh dear, I doubt I know exactly how you feel but I've got to tell you that I admire your relationship with your wife and your children. It is very strong obviously or you would have given up by now.

also, to the teacher, Yes, THANK YOU!! We are so busy with our kids that sometimes we forget to thank the teachers. My son recently started school (we'd been home schooling him so far) and he has come out of his shell in school. He was so upset when Summer Break came that the teacher signed him up for summer school (even though he is a A honor student). He enjoyed that but now it is over and he said he hopes he remembers what his friends and teachers look like. Plainly said, Teachers in general are awesome. Teachers of Autistic children are awesome times 10. I visited my son's classroom and a boy had a bad episode and was punching the teacher. I knew not to butt in but it was difficult. She was so patient with him and he ended up crying and hugging her. I know my son is safe at this school seeing how patient the teachers are and I just don't think they could ever be paid enough for the great work that they do.