Thursday, June 7, 2007

Top 10 Snappy Answers to Annoying Comments

A friend sent us this great list.

If you're a parent with a child on the spectrum, you've probably responded to the same annoying remarks and questions a thousand times. Here's a handy list of responses that...you'll probably never use out loud (but are fun to imagine using)!

1) He can’t be autistic -- he can talk! (or make eye contact, smile, engage)
And yet, amazingly, he’s still autistic! Y’see, autism is a spectrum disorder, and that means …

2) Oh, she must be SO good at math! (or science or music)
Actually, her great talent is in memorizing and reciting lines from Sponge Bob videos! (Or those annoying Thomas the Tank Engine songs!)

3) All he needs is more discipline, and he’ll get the message.
Yup, it’s true -- if you give a child enough time outs, he’ll just stop being autistic. And if I speak French to you loudly enough, you’ll become fluent!

4) You poor thing, it must be so upsetting to have a child with a disability.
Yes, it can be hard. And pity really helps me to get through the day and feel better about myself and my child. So…thanks so much!

5) Will he be able to go to college (or get married or hold down a job)?
Hm. Good question. By the way, has your daughter’s divorce been finalized yet? And I’m so sorry to hear that your son was recently laid off from his job…

6) I have a friend whose child was autistic, and she cured him!
Wow! So I guess she’s enjoying the millions she made after figuring out how to cure autism? I bet her second home is a yacht!

7) If she can’t behave properly, you shouldn’t BRING her to the grocery store!
Wow -- that would be great. Should I fax you my grocery list, or send it by email? I’ll really enjoy the delivery service!

8) We can’t include him in typical classes, it wouldn’t be fair to the other kids.
Hm, that’s an interesting perspective. So I guess you have a pretty big endowment to pay for all the law suits? That must be great!

9) We can’t accept her at our school because she doesn’t have a learning disability
Ohhhh… what a shame! Oh, wait, look, she’s suddenly developed dyslexia! Can she come to your school now?

10) You should make more time for yourself!
You’re so right! So will you be babysitting tonight or tomorrow night?

Dad

15 comments:

mcewen said...

It's a very inclusive club.
BEst wishes

kristina said...

11) He's a blessing. And he's so cute.

(I'm not as good at the snappy answers if you'd like a go at it........)

MOTHER OF MANY said...

I am impressed at your cheerfulness. I have 6 girls, 3 on the spectrum and 3 not.When they are all home together life can be pretty chaotic and pretty noisy.The funny thing is that even though we have 3 girls on the spectrum I can go days without even thinking AUTISM.Our way of life seems to be more defined by having 6 children in the family(very few people locally have so many),I sometimes feel that we live in a children's home.
Her are my Top Ten answers based on a similar Top Ten done by the OUCH website(I am sorry they are not as polite as yours)

1"What’s wrong with her then?"
(SHE HATES STUPID PEOPLE)

2"How long will she live?"
(LONGER THAN YOUR FAT ASS)

3"It’s such a shame – and she’s so pretty too "
(UNLIKE YOU, YOU MEAN)

4"Does she eat anything?"
(OBVIOUSLY NOT AS MUCH AS YOU)

5"Aaah!"
(SOD OFF)

6"She knows who you are then?"
(THE PERSON WHO FENDS OFF STUPID PEOPLE)

7"Look! she’s smiling."
(LOOK! YOU'RE FARTING)

8"Your older children must be such a comfort to you."
(BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT)

9"You won't be having any more."
(NO, YOU ARE DEFINITELY THE POSTER CHILD FOR EUGENICS)

10"You are great to keep her at home."
(AS OPPOSED TO IN A ZOO)

Mom26children said...

Hi,
I would love to get in touch with you, but need an email address.
You can leave it on my blog if you wish....
Thanks,
Jeanette

Robin said...

You are an inspiration. I loved your top 10. Ha ha.
Without humor - where would we be?
My son (11) loved your list, too. He's also pretty funny. He calls aspergers "ass boogers".
Ahhhhh.
I'll be visiting your site often. Good luck with starting a national site. It could be the answer to your financial probs.
Robin.

Anonymous said...

I love the come backs! Thanks for sharing.

shooless99 said...

Love your blog, I'm afather of two boys on the spectrum, it's nice to see humor in a lot of things as a parent you have to deal with on a daily basis. Absolutely love the t-shirts too.

asdmommy said...

I'm so glad I found your blog, it's nice to see someone exspressing there self.

Melinda said...

HAHA...I can relate to these!

Anonymous said...

Right, because autistic kids can't be disciplined or taught how to behave at all, so there's no use even trying!

Parents like you make me sick. And your "snappy answers" won't achieve anything except to confirm that you are selfish jerks, hiding behind your kid's diagnosis to excuse your lousy parenting.

Karen said...

Love the humor here!

Jacqui said...

Geez, Anon 5:54 is so brave that s/he left her/his name to the comment.

Great post. My son has a physical disability and yet I still found a lot in common with the answers.

Never That Easy said...

I loved the humor in this post, and the fact that you've been able to take some of the stupid things people say and turn them around. Great work!

Anonymous said...

i work with kids with autism and believe me it's draining. and some of the reason my job is so hard is because as soon as the kid get home from school the parents let them play video games the rest of the day, or anything to avoid the problem. parents it's your job to help them achieve also!

MWW said...

Ummmmm, if you speak French to someone long enough, they will learn that language. How did you learn English?